All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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