i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
