I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
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Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
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Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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