Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Houston, we have a blender
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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