i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
ok first of all what the fuck
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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