I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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