Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she looked like the before picture.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
