I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
