3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
