i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
