did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
