Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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