that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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