why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
