Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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