38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
