There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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