I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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