OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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