She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
