I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
