did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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