Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize