How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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