I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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