WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
