and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
