she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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