Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
