even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
