this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
