You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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