So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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