I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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