I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
