My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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