i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he had hair everywhere except his balls
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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