Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
