This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
