I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
