last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
