i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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