I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
