Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
