i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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