In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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