I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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