I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
