obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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