she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
