We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
