i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
