did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
