Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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