just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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