the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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