His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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