Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
