We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
