Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
They have beer where we have blood.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
