I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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