Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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