He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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