If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
